Thursday, August 19, 2010

Why do we keep giving Uwe Boll money?

Everyone who knows me well, or even just slightly, knows my hatred for Uwe Boll. The man has been putting out garbage for the better part of the last two decades. He is undoubtedly in my mind, the worst director I have ever seen on the big screen, and I mean that in all sincerity. I used to have issues with Eli Roth until Boll made Roth looks Oscar worthy. Here are the rating's for Uwe Boll's movies on IMDB:

German Fried Movie : IMDB – 1.3/10
Barschel: A Murder In Geneva: IMDB – 2.1/10
Amoklauf: IMDB – 2.1/10
The First Semester: IMDB – 2.1/10
Sanctimony (TV): IMDB – 2.9/10
Blackwoods: IMDB – 2.5/10
Heart of America: IMDB – 4.1/10
House of the Dead: IMDB – 2.0/10
Alone In The Dark: IMDB – 2.3/10
BloodRayne: IMDB – 2.7/10
In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale: IMDB – 3.8/10
Seed: IMDB – 2.6/10
Postal: IMDB – 4.1/10
BloodRayne: Deliverance: IMDB – 2.5/10
1968 Tunnel Rats: IMDB – 4.5/10
Stoic: IMDB – 2.8/10

Clearly other people agree that Uwe Boll's movies are shit worthless. I didn't use his last 4 movies because they haven't had a chance to gain very many votes yet. With this amazing list of films that give me suicidal tendencies, Uwe Boll has managed to make the worst of the worst. He even had the pleasure of having two movies in the IMDB's Bottom 100 with House of the Dead and Alone in the Dark. Two movies that very much deserve to be on that list. House of the Dead is one of those movies I bought on DVD as a spontaneous buy, and thus my hatred was born. He manages to get Video Game adaptions like free suckers at the doctor's office, and he manages to demolish them relentlessly. barely recognizes him as a director at all, only acknowledging a few of his movies even exist, and giving his movies an average of 1-11%.

The man shows no respect for anyone else in the movie making business, no respect to critics, and no respect for the people who watch his movies. He has said he makes movies to make a paycheck and that is why he makes 3-4 bad movies a year to bring in the paychecks, and people keep giving him money. He uses this money to get really good actors to take part in his films, and it in return makes me even more angry. People have tried to stand up against this monster, but have had no luck. He even knocked out a few nerds for fun, because he said if someone could beat him in a fight, he would stop making movies. Someone should knock his fucking ass out! Why can't we find some golden glove boxer here in the states to put him in his place? I'm trying to encourage people to stop watching his movies, or at least stop paying for them. It just encourages him. The man is a worthless piece of shit making worthless movies, and if we keep giving him money to do these things, then it will never stop. There should be a boycott on all Uwe Boll movies! Who is with me?! From here on out, I will never review a Uwe Boll movie on my blog!


The Mike said...

I actually just watched his latest to video, Rampage, last week after reading about it on other blogs. It's by FARRRRRRR the best thing he's ever done. Not quite good, but it seems like the work of a struggling independent filmmaker as opposed to his other films, which seemed like the work of an untrained orangutan.

Just sayin'.

Andrew Green said...

You've got to admit that he's at lest entertaining....

Lee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lee said...

Heh, I share your dislike for this talentless chimp. I seem to recall reading somewhere that a few of the people who wanted to box him were turned down because they could actually go in the ring and give Boll a problem.

Chris Regan said...

I agree with The Mike - Rampage was a good movie (and has an imdb rating of 6.4). I liked Heart of America too - a much more believable take on High School Shootings than Gus Van Sant's rather cold Elephant. Boll uses the money he makes from the video-game adaptations to make the arthouse films he can't fund otherwise. And those films are good. It's just a shame he has to ruin so many videogame franchises to get them made.

The Scream Queen said...

I am sorry to admit that House of the Dead is actually a huge guilty pleasure watch of mine. I've been meaning to write a review on 1 & 2 for a while now hahaha

But yes, Alone in the Dark was godawful.

Rabid Fox said...

Wow. When I look at his filmography, that kind of says it all. Bloodrayne, alone, is a covictable offense.

TheGirlWhoLovesHorror said...

I've only seen Alone in the Dark, Bloodrayne, and House of the Dead, but good gravy, those movies were enough to make me hate this dude. Bloodrayne is a killer video game and the movie just shit all over it. I know that Michael Madsen needs to make money too, but I'm disappointed he was in this! Not good to be associated with Uwe Boll.

After watching House of the Dead, I was ready to walk all the way to Hollywood or wherever this jerk lives, just so I could slap him in the face.

Anonymous said...

sad that he says he makes movies just for the paycheck...sigh, the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil...and bad movies too.
Dreaded Dreams
Petunia Scareum

the sneering (homo-phobic) snob said...

In the image of Boll posing with the 2 gorgeous chicks could you somehow find a way to digitally mask him out of the picture otherwise i wont be able to jerk-off to it with that silly bastard still in shot.