Monday, August 30, 2010

www.picturenose.com

I was recently approached by one of the great writers over at www.picturenose.com about my review on Bubba Ho-tep. If you want to read that review I posted a link on my original story. While I disagree extremely about Phantasm not being of CULT CLASSIC status, the review of Bubba Ho-tep is extremely good. It got me looking at the rest of the reviews these guys were pumping out and I found a very interesting movie review site in the process. I just wanted to give them some props and tell people to go check out their intersting movie reviews over at www.picturenose.com . I hope you enjoy their reviews as much as I have.

Monday, August 23, 2010

My Top 50 Stephen King Movies in order of how I like them! (Companion piece to recent post)

Since we all voted and did the Top 5 Stephen King movies according to you the readers/movie watchers. I decided to write down the Stephen King movies I have seen in the order I like them. I probably missed a couple, but it is very unlikely. Tell me what you think.

#1- The Mist
#2- Shawshank Redemption
#3- Cujo
#4- It
#5- The Stand
#6- Needful Things
#7- Riding The Bullet
#8- Stand By Me
#9- Tommyknockers
#10- Misery
#11- Pet Sematary
#12- Maximum Overdrive
#13- Children of the Corn
#14- Christine
#15- The Shining
#16- Carrie
#17- The Night Flier
#18- Salem's Lot
#19- Creepshow
#20- The Dead Zone
#21- Firestarter
#22- Silver Bullet
#23- The Running Man
#24- Graveyard Shift
#25- The Dark Half
#26- Dolores Claiborne
#27- Sometimes They Come Back
#28- The Green Mile
#29- Sleepwalkers
#30- Thinner
#31- Apt Pupil
#32- Storm of the Century
#33- Nightmares and Dreamscapes
#34- Dreamcatcher
#35- Desperation
#36- 1408
#37- Secret Window
#38- Rose Red
#39- Hearts in Atlantis
#40- The Mangler
#41- Cat's Eye
#42- Golden years
#43- Trucks
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#50- The Langoliers


Ok, so I left some room for all the other movies from King coming out that will all be better than The Langoliers. That movie was horrible, and by far the worst adaption from a great Stephen King story! Let the comments begin! :-)

The Votes are in!!! Top 5 Stephen King movies based on You!



So the votes are in, and the results were not too terribly shocking. It was in a little different order than I expected, but I could have called the top five before the vote was taken. Stephen King is a legend in my book, and will always be a hero to me. His books will forever line my shelves, and I pray the man writes until bites the big one. I mean that in the most respectable way possible. I DON'T want the man to stop writing. Just when you think he is probably going to start fading as a writer, he tosses out something incredible like "Cell" or "Under the Dome". The man is on the track to go out as probably the most popular Author of all time. Although I couldn't find actual facts to support it, it seems he has more book to movie deals than any other other I know of. Almost everything he has ever written has either been optioned, started filming, or has already graced DVDs, the big screen, or the little screen.

I could have done a top 5 movies based on sales, or IMDB rating, but I really wanted to hear what my closest friends, family, and fellow bloggers had to say when it came time to cast their vote. So to start this thing off, here are a few quotes from the vote:

The Mike of From Midnight, With Love said, "I can't not pick Shawshank. Shining and Mist are close, but to me it has to be the tale of Andy Dufresne."

Cory from Slaughter Film replied, "THE NIGHT FLIER! It's a modern twist on the classic vampire tale and WAY better than any of the vampire crap that has come out in the past ten years. Also I love how the main character works for some trashy "Weekly World News" magazine. *Sigh* I miss the 90's..."

The Scream Queen said, "This one is tough, but I'd probably have to say The Stand. That likely won't be the popular vote, but I love that movie. I did a five-part review on it when I was home sick from work earlier this year."

I also wanted to touch on the ones that didn't make the top 5 but came damn close. Here are the ones that were just a vote or two away from making the top 5!

Shawshank Redemption
The Night Flier
Misery
Christine
Children of the Corn
Stand by Me
Sometimes They Come Back
and Pet Sematary was named more times for people's second choice than any other film.

All great movies, but they just didn't quite get enough votes. I could go through all the movies that got at least one vote, but that would be a long, long list. So without further wait, I give you the Top 5 Stephen King movies You as readers/viewers voted on:



#5 The Stand Dir. by Mick Garris

The Stand is still considered one of the top made for TV movies of all time, and it is well deserved! The plot goes as follows: (After the world is decimated by a man-made plague, a battle of literally Biblical proportions ensues between the survivors.) The religious tones of the film only add to the overall effect of the material. I'm really glad that other people agree with me that this deserves to be in the Top 5.



#4 The Mist Dir. by Frank Darabont

I have said it before, and I will say it again- Frank Darabont is the only person that should ever be allowed to direct a Stephen King movie. In my mind, he is 3 for three, having also directed The Green Mile and Shawshank Redemption. It just feels like he knows King from the inside out. He even rewrote his own ending for The Mist, and Stephen King approved of it, saying "The ending is such a jolt—wham! It's frightening." The film follows a group of towns people trapped in a grocery store after a thick mist falls over the town, and seems to be filled with dangerous creatures. This was also my vote for #1, even though it didn't make it.



#3 Carrie Dir. by Brian De Palma

Carrie is undoubtedly one of the most memorable Stephen King movies to ever land on the big screen. Sissy Spacek helped drive up the box office numbers with her spot-on portrayal of the psionic powered teen. Although De Palma hasn't made a good movie since 1996, he used to be quite the filmmaker back in the day, and his take on Stephen King's work is honorable, and respectful of King's material. Carrie is well deserving of being on the Top 5



#2 It Dir. by Tommy Lee Wallace

I always have a hard time supporting anything Tommy Lee Wallace directs because he gave us the worst Halloween movie of all time. Halloween III: Season of the Witch, but on the other hand, he also gave us Fright Night 2, which is an admirable film. Either way, he gave us It! It is hard to find anything bad about it. I feel that if I were to say something bad about it, a clown might show up in my room in the middle of the night and eat me. As if people weren't terrified of clowns to begin with, It is almost single handedly responsible for thousands of clowns losing their jobs in the early 90's. I have a friend named Ryan, who might actually start convulsing like an epileptic upon seeing Pennywise. Tim Curry really helps develop this fear by whole-heartedly throwing himself into a what others might say is a typically goofy role, and giving it a touch of seriousness that terrifies me more than the character did to begin with. He plays Pennywise so perfect that I don't think there is anyone else on the face of the planet that can play the part even half as good as Curry did. That also makes me wonder why they have decided to remake it for next year. Oh well, Wallace's It will is always be near the top of any list made about Stephen King's movies.



#1!!!!!!! (drum roll please) The Shining! Dir. by Stanley Kubrick

I saw this coming ahead of time, but I find it hilariously ironic that the film we vote as the #1 Stephen King film was described by King himself as the worst adaption of any of his works. Of course, this quote was taken long before The Langoliers was made, which gets my vote for worst adaption. There is no doubt the Kubrick made one hell of a film with The Shining, and it is deserving to be on the top of any horror film list. It is absolutely one of the best films ever made, ranking #49 on IMDBs Top 250, and it is definitely one of the best movies best on works of Stephen King, so it is well deserving of it #1 ranking. Great job folks, and thanks for all the people that participated! I also wanted to let people know I used my favorite posters for each movie on here as well. I especially love The Shining poster!



Let me know your finale thoughts on the Top 5, and let me know if you have any ideas for a future Top 5!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Why do we keep giving Uwe Boll money?



Everyone who knows me well, or even just slightly, knows my hatred for Uwe Boll. The man has been putting out garbage for the better part of the last two decades. He is undoubtedly in my mind, the worst director I have ever seen on the big screen, and I mean that in all sincerity. I used to have issues with Eli Roth until Boll made Roth looks Oscar worthy. Here are the rating's for Uwe Boll's movies on IMDB:

German Fried Movie : IMDB – 1.3/10
Barschel: A Murder In Geneva: IMDB – 2.1/10
Amoklauf: IMDB – 2.1/10
The First Semester: IMDB – 2.1/10
Sanctimony (TV): IMDB – 2.9/10
Blackwoods: IMDB – 2.5/10
Heart of America: IMDB – 4.1/10
House of the Dead: IMDB – 2.0/10
Alone In The Dark: IMDB – 2.3/10
BloodRayne: IMDB – 2.7/10
In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale: IMDB – 3.8/10
Seed: IMDB – 2.6/10
Postal: IMDB – 4.1/10
BloodRayne: Deliverance: IMDB – 2.5/10
1968 Tunnel Rats: IMDB – 4.5/10
Stoic: IMDB – 2.8/10




Clearly other people agree that Uwe Boll's movies are shit worthless. I didn't use his last 4 movies because they haven't had a chance to gain very many votes yet. With this amazing list of films that give me suicidal tendencies, Uwe Boll has managed to make the worst of the worst. He even had the pleasure of having two movies in the IMDB's Bottom 100 with House of the Dead and Alone in the Dark. Two movies that very much deserve to be on that list. House of the Dead is one of those movies I bought on DVD as a spontaneous buy, and thus my hatred was born. He manages to get Video Game adaptions like free suckers at the doctor's office, and he manages to demolish them relentlessly. Rottentomatoes.com barely recognizes him as a director at all, only acknowledging a few of his movies even exist, and giving his movies an average of 1-11%.



The man shows no respect for anyone else in the movie making business, no respect to critics, and no respect for the people who watch his movies. He has said he makes movies to make a paycheck and that is why he makes 3-4 bad movies a year to bring in the paychecks, and people keep giving him money. He uses this money to get really good actors to take part in his films, and it in return makes me even more angry. People have tried to stand up against this monster, but have had no luck. He even knocked out a few nerds for fun, because he said if someone could beat him in a fight, he would stop making movies. Someone should knock his fucking ass out! Why can't we find some golden glove boxer here in the states to put him in his place? I'm trying to encourage people to stop watching his movies, or at least stop paying for them. It just encourages him. The man is a worthless piece of shit making worthless movies, and if we keep giving him money to do these things, then it will never stop. There should be a boycott on all Uwe Boll movies! Who is with me?! From here on out, I will never review a Uwe Boll movie on my blog!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

What is your favorite Stephen King movie?



Stephen King has been my inspiration for almost everything in my life. When times got tough as a kid, I resorted to burying myself in a fictional world created by Stephen King. He is probably single-handedly responsible for helping me become this creatively deranged individual I am today. He is one of the best selling authors of all time, if not THE best. He has had more movie adaptions from his works than anyone else in the history of film. While some of his adaptions often come up weak and short, others shine as masterpieces. He is known as being the King of Horror, but he has seen big success with non-horror as well with Stand by Me, The Green Mile, and Shawshank redemption.



I'm calling out to my fellow bloggers, and readers to find out what everyone else's favorite Stephen King film is of all time. I'm going to compile a list at the end of the week and then have a Top 10 Stephen King films list by bloggers and movie fans everywhere. I am really excited for this article, as he is an important part of my life. I am also asking this on my facebook, so please try to only cast your vote once on one or the other to keep it as accurate as possible. Thank you to all, and I can't wait to see the results!

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Hatchet (2006)



Hatchet (2006) Dir. by Adam Green

When a group of tourists on a New Orleans haunted swamp tour find themselves stranded in the wilderness, their evening of fun and spooks turns into a horrific nightmare.



I LOVE Hatchet, and I look forward to Adam Green doing many many great movies! It sucks that I haven't been able to get a hold of more of his stuff. I know that Hatchet and Spiral are two of my favorite movies in the last five years. While Spiral was a well though out psychological thriller, Hatchet is anything but that. Green shows his love for cheesy, over the top, bloody, gutsy, and breast filled slasher horror films of the 80's... by making one from 2006. I loved every minute of it. It had the jumps that got my heart pumping, and sustained it by showing enough action to rarely slow it down. He doesn't get drawn out and boring at any point in the film, and I was fine with giving up boring story points for a short action packed film. The blood was laughable, and the acting was mediocre, but at no point in the film did I feel like Green was trying to do anything more than that. He just wanted to make the fun horror slasher he wanted to make.



It is always great to see the under appreciated Joel David Moore, and best friend of the director, although I was a little annoyed by him in the beginning. He got much better as the movie went on. I love how Adam Green wanted as many people as possible to know that Kane Hodder was going to be playing Victor Crowley (the killer). It not only brought in many more people to see the film, but told people right from the start that it was going to be vicious. Hodder is the kind of guy that instills fear in people he walks by on the way to get groceries for the week. He has brought viewers so many great characters through his career. He is a veteran, and it only makes sense that he plays the new "big" horror legend, when he did his part to help us keep one of the best (Jason Vorhees) alive. The rest of the cast is filled up with lesser known people doing above par jobs for people of their experience. Tamara Feldman is definitely a pleasant surprise as the female lead, and I think she hits her character dead on. I was definitely upset to hear she refused to reprise her role in the sequel being released Aug 26th across seas. Deon Richmond (The Cosby Show) offers up some clever humor as the main source comedic relief, not to mention cameos from more horror legends Robert Englund and Tony Todd (who is frickin hilarious). Make sure you keep an eye out for the young Victor Crowley, who is played by Rileah Vanderbilt, and she would later marry Adam Green a few months ago. Congrats to both of them.



When it comes down to it, the special FX are what makes me fall in love with this film. In a time like today, CGI can always be a way to make stuff look OK, and make it for cheep, and much less of a mess. Hatchet doesn't fall prey to the easy way out. They keep it bloody and traditional by using buckets of blood, and old school special FX. I really hope more feels start to move back to this traditional, and respectable manner of making movies. It reminds me of times when I felt it required someone special to make it in the film business. It inspired me to work in film, and to want to aspire to be something more than just normal. I'm not trying to think into it that much, but nowadays anyone can make a crappy movie look a little bit better using CGI programs. I'm not trying to say that people who use alot of CGI aren't talented, I'm just saying they are less talented. :-)

I honestly look forward to seeing every single film Adam Green makes, and I expect only bigger things for him to come in the future. He has certainly made his mark among the horror community. I can tell you that.

Entertainment Value: 9/10 Double-sided Axes
Cinematic Value: 8/10 Double-sided Axes

Friday, August 13, 2010

SyFy Channel Original Movies Picture Quiz!!!

I haven't been able to keep up on this week as much as I would like to. I have two book deals going on, plus working on 3 film scripts, not to mention getting ready to film on of my short scripts next month, so I haven't been able to catch as much of the SyFy channel as I had originally intended, which is ok, but...

I think I really need to switch it up a bit to try and generate something again, so I am going to have a Quess the movie picture contest. I cannot offer any monetary gift of material gift what-so-over, hell I'm selling half of what I own to shoot the movie, but I do have an idea. A couple people read my blog a week, so I'm going to say that the first person to guess all ten pictures gets a free article on Dead End Drive-In! A whole article however long you want (Don't be ridiculous) and it will be a chance to do some free advertising. Everyone needs free advertising, hell I know I do. So the first person to post all 10 right gets the free advertising. Here is the kicker- If you guess ten but don't get all ten right, then the next person already has an insight into what they could be, so there could be a benefit to waiting a day, unless someone is really good. I'll admit that they are not too terribly difficult, and they are not my favorite SyFy movies, but I wanted to pick out some that were not blatantly obvious. Let me know what you guys think of the quiz, and I look forward to getting some answers!

#1



#2




#3



#4



#5



#6



#7



#8



#9



#10




Good Luck to everyone and I can't wait to hear back from you!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Alien Apocalypse (2005)



Alien Apocalypse (2005) Dir. by Josh Becker

An astronaut doctor Ivan Hood and his fellow astronaut Kelly return from their mission in space to find the world has been taken over by aliens.



I noticed there aren't any SciFi original films playing on SyFy today, so I decided to touch on one of the more memorable moments in SyFy for me. I LOVE Alien Apocalypse! It is such a horribly cheesy movie, and I enjoyed every minute of it. It is filled with horrible acting, horrible special effects, an awkward story line, and Bruce Campbell. I went into this movie not expecting much, and maybe that helped, but I respected Josh Becker's attempt to keep this movie serious. It was just too ridiculous to achieve it, but it is the attempt that counts. Becker is no stranger to cheesy, but good moments on TV. He directed Stan Lee's Harpies in 2007, not to mention many episodes of Xena and Jack Of All Trades.

Bruce Campbell is awesome as usual, but in an over the top way. He is hardly believable as a Doctor or an Astronaut, haha.



I recommend at least one viewing to everyone. It is fun, and try not to take it for more than what it is, a cheesy SyFy Original Movie

Entertainment Value: 7/10 Alien Bugs
Cinematic Value: 4/10 Alien Bugs

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Sand Serpents (2009)



Sand Serpents (2009) Dir. by Jeff Renfroe

A small group of Marines in the Afghan Desert are forced to fight giant serpents and the Taliban at the same time.

OK, so the movie has a bunch of unknowns directed by another unknown, and with plot/creatures taken directly from a Dune meets Tremors head on collision. Desperate Housewives frequenter Jason Gedrick leads the cast as they battle these massive beasts.



The plot is kinda ridiculous and by that I mean it doesn't really have much of a plot at all. The serpents look more like worms, and they prove to usually be more helpful than harmful to the core cast for most of the film. They eat more Taliban than the Marines can shoot.



The movie is fun, but not as good as other Syfy Original Films. I was kinda letdown by my first choice for Syfy week.

Entertainment Value: 5/10 Giant Worms
Cinematic Value: 3/10 Giant Worms

Monday, August 9, 2010

A Week of Posts Dedicated to the Syfy Channel!


Rain or shine, happy or sad, healthy or sick, there is nothing that can stop me from enjoying the Syfy channel and all its glory. The Syfy channel has be pumping out mediocre quality movies for decades, and I have been lucky enough to grow up in this time period. When I found out Syfy was doing nothing but replaying a bunch of they Syfy Channel original movies this week, I thought it would be a great opportunity to dedicate a week to a channel that has let me get lost in imagination.



I would be lying if I said I didn't draw inspiration from the Syfy channel. I will start of by talking about some of the recent TV shows that I love on Syfy. In the past, Scifi brought us Battlestar Galactica, Stargate SG1, and the start of Ghost Hunters, not to mention plenty more. Now days we have the same quality TV shows, not to mention a whole bunch of new additions to the line-up.



Warehouse 13 is a show about two Secret Service agents, who after they save the President's life, find themselves transferred to a warehouse in the middle of nowhere. Warehouse 13 is where they hide artifacts from all over the world that house special powers. The show stars Saul Rubinek, Eddie McClintock, and Joanne Kelly, and has fast become one of my favorite shows. It showcases lots of unique artifacts, although there are supernatural elements, they are backed up with real history lessons. In my opinion, it is one of the best shows on right now.



Haven, oh what to say about Haven. It is based on the story "The Colorado Kid" by Stephen King. The series follows the shrewd and confident FBI agent Audrey Parker (Rose) who has a lost past, and arrives in the small town of Haven, Maine on a routine case. Before long, her natural curiosity lands her in the epicenter of activity in this curious enclave, which turns out to be a longtime refuge for people that are affected by a range of supernatural afflictions. As the townspeople's dormant abilities begin to express themselves, Audrey helps keep these forces at bay while discovering the many secrets of Haven — including one surrounding her own surprising connections to this extraordinary place. -SyFy.com At first, I was really worried about this show, but it has really started to grow on me.



Ghost Hunters has been around for a long time, and then came Ghost Hunters International, but now comes a new additions, Ghost Hunters Academy. While not as strong as the first two shows, GHA showcases new people in a reality show setting, trying to get a spot on one of the other two shows. They travel back to a lot of places the original fans should remember, and offers new experiences on old places. The show is only in its second season, but I expect it to get better and better as it goes along. The show is ran by fan favorites, Dave Tango and Steve Gonsalves, and the chemistry between the two of them is flawless and hilarious. I love watching them, and they make the show worth watching. Without them, I don't think I would give the show the time of day.



These are the shows I really wanted to talk about, but Caprica (Stemmed from Battlestar Galactica) is really bringing in the numbers. I haven't really watched the show, but I didn't care for BG much either. It is worth mention because many other people do like the show.



That's it for the TV shows, and I'm going to pick on movie a day to review, so here is the schedule for this week:

Monday:

9:00 am - Sand Serpents (Syfy original movie)
11:00 am - Screamers
1:00 pm - Screamers: The Hunting
3:00 pm - Beowulf (1999)
5:00 pm - Predator 2
7:30 pm - The Fifth Element

Tuesday:

8:00 am - Lockjaw: Rise Of The Kulev Serpent
9:30 am - Showdown At Area 51 (Syfy original movie)
11:30 am - Predator 2
2:00 pm - Mutant Chronicles
4:30 pm - The Fifth Element

Wednesday:

9:00 am - Mortuary
11:00 am - Rest Stop
1:00 pm - See No Evil
3:00 pm - The Shaft
5:00 pm - 100 Feet

Thursday:

8:30 am - In the Spiders Web
10:30 am - The Hive
12:30 pm - Arachnid
2:30 pm - Arachnophobia
5:00 pm - Vipers

Friday:

8:00 am - Sometimes They Come Back Again
10:00 am - Sometimes They Come Back... For More
12:00 pm - The Dunwich Horror
2:00 pm - The Cursed
4:00 pm - Stephen King's Desperation

I only have the time to pick one, plus I can't watch them while my little guy is around, so I will pick them carefully, but this should be fun, and I hope you all enjoy this week as much as I am going to.