The Collector (2009)

The Collector (2009) Dir. by Marcus Dunstan

Desperate to repay his debt to his ex-wife, an ex-con plots a heist at his new employer's country home, unaware that a second criminal has also targeted the property, and rigged it with a series of deadly traps.



Marcus Dunstan is a name everyone should know, but not for directing. He is one of the writers for one of my favorite horror trilogies of all time, Feast Trilogy!!! He has also had his hand in writing for the last four Saw movies. As good as his writing is, I really feel he has a future in directing. He has a way with the camera and it is apparent in The Collector (Which is a planned Trilogy).

The acting in this film was far better than I had expected going in to it. In fact, everything was better than I expected, but Josh Stewart (From Criminal Minds) was great as the lead. He was extremely believable as the ex-con man who has to constantly weigh his own decisions while trying to elude the killer rather than confront him. The rest of the parts were all pretty small but worth mentioning. The little girl, played by Karley Scott Collins, was exceptionally strong especially towards progression of the story. There is a large portion of the film where she is none-existent, but when she returns it is a game changer for the Protagonist. I'm going to pull the nerdy guy card here, but Madeline Zima (Gretchen from Heroes) totally gets naked! Sorry, had to say it.



The film itself is extremely original in many ways, and I'm only saying that because it takes alot of the same concepts of other movies an mashes them together in a near perfect concoction. There is plenty of gore to satisfy the horror hell hounds, and yet it never strays away from its original theme of survival without conflict. The main character has his ulterior motives for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and he stays true to what he came to do. The film is beautifully shot, and blew me away at some parts. The camera work and the photography were damn near perfect, and being a film SAP I loved every minute of it. There was an overhead shot of four separate rooms that had me grinning delightfully. Plus there is an awesome seen with a cat(you Will know what I am talking about). The contraptions in the house aren't overly dramatic, but some of them turn out to be more intricate than they appear. There were some very SAW-ish scenes, but it only added to the story. I thought it was great not having any story or background into the killer. The only information comes from the victims, so it is like you know as much as the characters. The colors are intense and the lighting really sets the mood, and I'm a sucker for good lighting. I really enjoyed this film overall and I look forward the purchasing it on DVD, and seeing the rest of the trilogy. Check it out

Entertainment Value: 9/10 Deadbolt Locks
Cinematic Value: 9/10 Deadbolt Locks

The Walking Dead (TV) - The Low Down

The Walking Dead (TV-2010) Created by Frank Darabont

Police officer Rick Grimes leads a group of survivors in a world overrun by zombies.



The Walking Dead is about as realistic as it gets when dealing with zombies in the entertainment industry. I am obsessed with Frank Darabont, and I love his work, so I was extremely excited from the get-go about him doing a zombie TV show. My hat is off to AMC right off the bat for showing a large pair of testicles in picking up this would be controversial show for prime time television. Not alot of channels would have even considered picking this up, but AMC gambled and it sure as hell paid off. A total of 5.4 million people watched the premiere episode, which made it the largest premiere in AMC history. The plot is as simple as it gets with a man waking up during a zombie apocalypse and trying to find his family, all while running into other survivors. The subplots are what gets to you, as it has some of the most interesting characters of any TV show I have seen recently, including Lost. Frank doesn't do any directing with TWD, but his presence is definitely felt in every episode. There is enough emotional intensity in a one hour episode to make any grown man share his feelings. This is not uncommon for Frank Darabont, as he has shown it many times before with: The Mist, The Majestic, The Green Mile, and The Shawshank Redemption. He knows how to make the most unbelievable circumstances that are easy to relate to everyone.



The acting in The Walking Dead is unbelievably good. It is the perfect balance between lesser knows and veterans, and it blends so amazingly well. With a fairly unknown lead Andrew Lincoln (Love Actually) playing the lead Rick Grimes, I was a little nervous, but he has been more than a great pillar for this large scale show. Backed by lesser knowns Jon Bernthal(The Ghost Writer, Night At The Museum 2), Sarah Wayne Callies (Prison Break, Whisper), Steven Yeun, and Chandler Riggs make for an outstanding ensemble cast. Veterans Laurie Holden (The Mist, Silent Hill), Jeffrey DeMunn (The Mist, The Green Mile, The Shawshank Redemption) are amazing as usual. Are you seeing the pattern there? Bring in some veterans Frank is familiar with? Well it works, not to mention up and coming star Emma Bell (Frozen, Hachet II) is equally as good in her much smaller role. The chemistry among the cast is extremely noticeable, and they all play off each other really well.



The show itself is one of the best shows I have ever seen, and shows potential to be the best. I have said it a thousand times : The fast way to my heart is through my brains! I am a zombie loving fiend and just to have a zombie TV show on basic cable makes me ecstatic. The show is so well written, well acted, and well executed that I haven't run into any people who have been able to say a bad thing about it yet. According to cinemablend.com, after just two episodes The Walking Dead was picked up for a 13 Episode second season to air on Halloween of next year. That is a long frickin wait, but for a show that has about everything you could want from a TV show (Attractive people, great acting, great writing, gore, and plenty of action) I am pumped for next season and it will be well worth the wait. Oh and for the record, if Frank Darabont wants to get rid of all of his writers for a fresh second season, then I trust Frank Darabont. Tell me I am playing favorites all you want but The Walking Dead (TV) Season One gets:

Entertainment Value: 10/10 Decaps!
Cinematic Value: 10/10 Decaps!

Sorority Row (2009)

Sorority Row (2009) Dir. by Stewart Hendler

A group of sorority sisters try to cover up the death of their house-sister after a prank gone wrong, only to be stalked by a serial killer.

Sophomore only to his first feature film Whisper (which I haven't seen, but have added to my watch list), Stewart Hendler delivers an entertaining remake of House on Sorority Row (1983). Sure the basic plot has been done hundreds of times including I Know What You Did Last Summer, accidentally kill someone - cover it up - people involved start being murdered, and Sorority Row gives nothing special in terms of plot. For the most part it is pretty straight forward, never really wavering from that path, and never really gave me that Who Done It? feel. I was entertained enough to watch it from beginning to end, but I can't say it is anything I would run out and buy the DVD for, but I would pick it up if I found it in the $5 bin at Walmart.



The acting in the film is at par level about as much as you can possibly get. There are no characters that really stand out, and no performance that really reach out and grab you. There isn't really a lead character, but instead the majority of the sorority is the protagonist. The character that really does stand out for me is the killer. There is nothing really special about the appearance but it is definitely dark and mysterious, and it adds to the film for sure.



There isn't a whole lot I can say about the film, but it does have a lot of positive things going for it. It has an insanely creative weapon for the killer! It does stick to the 80's slasher laws of plenty of naked girls (including a sorority shower scene), plenty of gore (some of the most creative kills I have seen in a while), and no need for plot. There was a kill involving a bottle of alcohol that I particularly enjoyed! All in all, I think the movie is worth at least one viewing if not more. It is something I would watch again if I saw it on Showtime or Starz.

Entertainment Value: 7/10 Tire Irons
Cinematic Value: 6/10 Tire Irons

Frozen (2010)

Frozen (2010) Dir. by Adam Green

Three skiers are stranded on a chairlift and forced to make life-or-death choices that prove more perilous than staying put and freezing to death

Adam Green seems to be one of those directors where you either love him or hate him. Personally, I love the guy's work. In fact, I think he is getting quite a bit of love in the horror universe and I am all for it. I imagine he is going to have a long and prosperous career in filmmaking. He has show so much versatility not just as a writer, but as a director. He jump starts his career making a comedy movie from $400, friends and family, and borrowed equipment. That movie got picked up and turned into TV show. From there he goes on to make Hatchet, a complete 360, making a film the pays tribute to the great horror slashers of the 80's and essentially has started to become a cult classic of its own. Then he goes on to make Spiral, which happens to be one of my personal favorite psychological thrillers with an outstanding cast. Then he RETURNS to making short films for a few years. That's right, even with his booming career taking off, he returns to making short films. And finally we get back to Frozen. It happens to be completely different than any of his previous movies, and provides a whole new type of scary. Sure some of the things might seem a little far fetched, but well within the realm of believability.



The acting in the film was surprisingly well. Kevin Zegers probably being the weakest link, and even with that said he didn't do a bad job either. Emma Bell and Shawn Ashmore give extremely strong performances as two out of the three leads. In a movie that tries to be realistic, dialogue is often extremely important and it is so in this film as well. It drives it, and I don't know if it is mostly improve or if Adam Green's writing skills are even better than I had originally thought, but the dialogue is great. The raw emotion of the film is brought to life by strong situations, and the characters react just like people should. Great job on every one's part and keep an eye out for Mr. Kane Hodder, and a funny cameo from bash brothers of horror Joe Lynch and the director Adam Green.



The film itself just oozes intensity. From a fifteen minutes into the film to the very end, I was on the edge of my seat. The situations the characters were in felt so real, and it felt like it could happen to me. My wife Kim said it best, "Now I refuse to ever go skiing." While it is the complete opposite type of horror as Hatchet, it does not lack in the gore department. There was even a particular moment that made me feel uncomfortable, and that never happens. I watch gory frickin shit all the time, and yet it still made me feel a little queasy. Maybe it was just the realistic part of the whole film. Andy Garfield, Green's close friend, is the one who truly deserves a large amount of the credit here. Without his Original Music, Frozen would not be able to deliver the emotional intensity that it does. The music runs a perfectly parallel line the the events in the film.

All in all, with its intensity, shocking moments, perfect music, and spot on acting, Frozen delivers on all accounts and will leave me trembling at the thought of hitting the slopes any time soon.

Entertainment Value: 9/10 Bunny Hills
Cinematic Value: 9/10 Bunny Hills

Candyman (1992)

Candyman (1992) Dir by Bernard Rose

Helen Lyle is a student who decides to write a thesis about local legends and myths. She visits a part of the town, where she learns about the legend of the Candyman, a one-armed man who appears when you say his name five times, in front of a mirror. Of course, Helen doesn't believe all this stuff, but the people of the area are really afraid. When she ignores their warnings and begins her investigation in the places that he is rumored to appear, a series of horrible murders begins. Could the legend be true? Written by Chris on IMDB.com



I have always felt like Candyman is always a forgotten film. I know in the years after its release it was the topic of many horror discussions. What happened to that? When talking about Top Slasher movies of all time, why isn't Candyman brought up more often? I honestly don't know what happened by Candyman is a movie not to be forgotten. I view it as one of the most surprising, intelligent, and visual slasher movies ever created. It probably doesn't hurt that it was born from the seriously disturbed mind of the insanely creative Clive Barker. The same guy that brought us such mildly gory (sarcasm) movies as Rawhead Rex, Hellraiser, Nightbreed, Lords of Illusion, Midnight Meat Train, Book of Blood, and Dread! That is one hell of a messed up list. I'm not going to ramble on about Clive too much. Everyone knows who he is and what he has done, but why does this movie fall in the shadows then?

The movie is critically acclaimed worldwide. An award winning actress leads the cast in Virginia Madsen (Sideways, The Number 23). Not to mention the iconic performance by Tony Todd as The Candyman. A performance that he would repeat in two less impressive sequels, although his performances were not less impressive. The man is insanely scary and I have thoroughly enjoyed a large amount of his films.



When it comes down to it, the only weakness I can find in this film is the Director, and he wasn't weak in this film. He just didn't use this great film as a stepping stone, and instead let his career fall into a continuous loop of mediocre films, and is still doing so to this day. None the less, Bernard Rose Directed a brilliant, visually stunning, truly terrifying film with an amazing story and great acting. I think this movie is so intelligent and well written that it is more often considered a thriller and not a slasher film. I think if you have forgot about this film then you need to go back and watch for a refresher.

Entertainment Value: 9/10 Bloody Bee Covered Hooks
Cinematic Value: 8/10 Bloody Bee Covered Hooks

Horror Barbie Blog

Horror Barbie Blog

Are you familiar with the amazingly talented Devanny Pinn? If not, you should be. She is someone who has already reached Scream Queen status in an extremely short time.
Her film credits include: Orgy of Blood, Song of the Shattered, Piranha 3D, 15 Til Midnight, and a load of upcoming films coming out in the next two years; including the highly anticipated "Cut" by the badass Writer/Director Joe Hollow.

If you want to check out more of her filmography, go to :
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1922788/



Now let's cut to the chase. Not only is this beautiful woman Writing, Producing, and Acting in movies galore, but now she has decided to tackle the Blog world! I have taken the task of welcoming her to the blog world and making sure everyone knows about her new site.

Have you ever wondered what a Scream Queen thinks? I know I have, and now you have a chance to find out. There are plenty of Devanny's random thoughts on her site as she tries to spark up some conversations with her fans. She even tackles religion! (sounds risque if you ask me, haha) Don't fret horror fans, as it is not reading through a written log of The View. There is plenty of blood and guts on the site as well. It is a one stop shop for all the trailers for her upcoming films. No need to try perusing Youtube when all you have to do is hop on her blog.



If you like what I have told you then I think it is time you check out the Horror Barbie Blog!

http://devannypinn.blogspot.com/

Enjoy it as much as possible, I know I will.

What is your favorite Holiday for themed horror movies?!! (other than Halloween)

What is your favorite Holiday for themed horror movies?!! (other than Halloween)




Halloween is the almighty holiday when it comes to horror movies, and we all know it. It has had hundreds of horror films that have taken place on that particular day, and spawned one of the greatest slasher kings in it's name, but what I want to know is what do you horror freaks do for the rest of the years. If one of you tells me you don't watch horror movies for 364 days until next Halloween, I will slap the crap out of you. Just answer these two questions for me.

1- What is your favorite Holiday for HORROR outside of Halloween?

2- What is your favorite themed HORROR movie from that Holiday?

Let the comments.... BEGIN!!!!

Whatcha Gonna Queue?!!!!! Web review show!

Hey Guys! Long time no see! Sorry, I have been crazy busy with writing (8 total projects), children (apparently you have to feed them and such), work (MONEY!!!), and that HUGE distraction called Halo: Reach! Well, I'm back! Well, at least to tell you about this awesome new Youtube Channel/Movie review show that was just recently brought to my attention. It is called "Whatcha Gonna Queue?", and it is awesome! These two guys, Alex and Jim, sit down and discuss their selections for movies, similar to many other review shows only less boring. From the episodes that I have seen so far, I thoroughly trust their selections and recommend everyone watch the show! Their recent Halloween selections came out this past Tuesday and I must say they are all solid choices! Great job guys.

Here is some of their info if you would like to follow them (and I strongly suggest it):

Email -
Alex - ajrab@magnetmediafilms.com
JIm - jr@magnetmediafilms.com

Website -
http://whatchagonnaqueue.com

Facebook -
www.facebook.com/whatchagonnaqueue

Twitter -
whatcha_gonna_Q

And last but not least, here is the most recent episode, so enjoy!!! Then subscribe to them. Talk to them! Give them your input. Us as bloggers have an duty to do so!

Crawlspace (1986)

Crawlspace (1986) Directed by David Schmoeller

A man who runs an apartment house for women is the demented son of a Nazi surgeon who has the house equipped with secret passageways, hidden rooms and torture and murder devices.

I had been itching to see Crawlspace for some time now, and when I spotted it on at 2:00 AM last night, I said why the hell not?! I'm glad that I decided to stay up and watch it. While it wasn't the best of movies, it was definitely worth the watch.



I was really excited to see another David Schmoeller movie. I feel like Schmoeller was a fairly dominant Director in the Late 70's to Late 80's, with movies like Tourist Trap (1979), The Seduction (1982) with Morgan Fairchild, Catacombs (1988), and Puppetmaster (1989). His Puppetmaster characters went on to drive another eight Puppetmaster movies, and I have loved every frickin one of them! When I saw that he had paired up with Klaus Kinski on a movie, I had to see it!

Klaus Kinski really is the driving factor in this film. Without him, the movie really doesn't have a lot going for it. It really isn't Schmoeller's best writing job, but Kinski plays the part so creepy that it even got to me a little bit. You could have a short film of Klaus Kinsk making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and describing it as he made it, and it could be labelled a horror movie. The awkward chemistry between he and the other characters actually feels genuine, and that's because it probably is.



There are a few negative things about the movie, but they don't really affect it at all. Just know the movie isn't that great before watching it, haha. The pace of Crawlspace is at times mind-numbingly slow, and the acting aside from Kinski is sometimes unbearable. The plot and execution of the film is unique enough to keep you interested, but at times I felt myself thinking "really...really?" at some of the contraptions he had built. I also felt like the movie was creepy enough without the son of a Nazi surgeon side/back story. All in all, the movie is good enough for at least one viewing, and I strongly suggest it purely based on the need to see a great Klaus Kinski performance.

Entertainment Value: 7/10 Trapdoor Rat Holes
Cinematic Value: 5/10 Trapdoor Rat Holes

Monsters (2010)

Monsters (2010) Dir. by Gareth Edwards

Six years after Earth has suffered an alien invasion a cynical journalist agrees to escort a shaken American tourist through an infected zone in Mexico to the safety of the US border.

First of all, Gareth Edwards is a genius! To make a movie of this caliber on $15,000 and edit the whole thing from his laptop computer is not only un-frickin-believable but it is inspirational to independent filmmakers everywhere.



I really want to make sure that people understand that yes there are monsters in this movie, and yes they do look wicked cool, but it is not a monster movie all together. It is a romance/friendship film developed with a monster story background. The film is truly driven by the two main characters played by Whitney Able and Scoot McNairy. Watching their progress through the film really does feel natural and not hurried. I don't want people to go into this film thinking they are going to see Cloverfield, or The Host. It is a slower paced character drama with little action spots sprinkled throughout. When the action does come it is really amazing considering the budget. Vehicles are being thrown, and the bodies and make-up look very realistic. The CG in the film is nearly flawless, and in most of the scenes a difference can hardly be noticed. The lighting in the film feels mostly natural, and I don't think they had a lot of lighting equipment when they were traveling around South and Central America. A really solid story supports the characters and makes their own issues seem normal.



The other thing I really loved about this film was the taking in of Central American culture. The scenery was absolutely beautiful, and most of the locations used actually look the way you see them. There aren't alot of man made set pieces in the film. I was blown away by this film and the amount of strong imagery used. The great acting by the lead characters only added to the film. The only downside I found of the film is, because of its natural lighting, it might be best to see this movie first when it comes out in theaters. The dark theater environment might help process some of the dark images compared to the 27 inch TV in my apartment. I recommend everyone lower their expectation's of action and science fiction before they go see this amazing character driven romantic science fiction film.

Entertainment Value: 9/10 Tree Hugging Shrooms
Cinematic Value: 10/10 Tree Hugging Shrooms

Basket Case 3: The Progeny (1992) Guest Review

Basket Case 3: The Progeny (1992) Dir. by Frank Henenlotter


Basket Case 3: The Progeny (Frank Henenlotter) is an interesting mish-mash of horror and slapstick comedy. It was released one year after Basket Case 2 and nine (!) years after the first film in the series. The overarching plot focuses on Duane Bradley and his malformed, telepathic twin named Belial.

The original Basket Case sets up background of how Duane and Belial were surgically separated. Duane carries his brother around in a wicker basket and whenever Belial gets out, he attacks and brutally murders anyone who gets in the way (specifically the doctors who separated him and his brother).



In the second movie, Duane's aunt Granny Ruth is introduced as their care-taker. Her living situation proves to be most accommodating to other creatures and deformed "freaks" much like Belial. There's not too much of a plot in the second film, and the characters are too goofy for my tastes, but it provides a necessary transition into the third (and far better) entry. (Spoiler) In short, the conclusion to Basket Case 2 shows Duane sewing Belial back onto his torso following a freak accident at a dinner party.

Fast-forward to Basket Case 3, which, again, picks up where 2 leaves off. After an unsuccessful attempt at re-attaching his twin brother, Duane is reprimanded. Many months later, Granny Ruth takes Duane, Belial and the other freaks on a bus trip. What is the main purpose of this trip? Granny Ruth's ex-husband, who is also a doctor, is enlisted to help deliver Belial's offspring. Yes, Belial is going to be a father as his lover, named Eve - who is also a misshapen fleshy blob, is pregnant. Sound ridiculous? It is.




What occurs from here on is an exercise in gore and absurdity. There's a rather bizarre sing-along number on the bus lead by Granny Ruth and all of the freaks. A wild goose chase occurs when the police discover the freaks' whereabouts. All of this culminates in a standoff too outlandish to put into words.

Frank Henenlotter makes wonderful low budget, exploitation films. Between the brain-eating parasite in Brain Damage and the super-crack in Frankenhooker, there's no subject too taboo for this director. While Basket Case 3 may not be one of his best, it is odd enough to warrant a mild recommendation on my part.

3 1/2 out of 5 stars

By James Munson

Sculpture (2009)

Sculpture (2009) Dir. by Pete Jacelone

Sculpture is a psychological horror gore-fest that tells the story of Ashley Steele, an aspiring artist who returns home after the death of her father only to find the haunting memories of her repressed childhood await her. She is commissioned to create a life-size sculpture of the perfect man, and uses body builders from her brother's gym as models, but soon finds herself spiraling down a path of unspeakable psychopathic terror and murder as she frantically tries to complete her masterpiece. Written by Pete Jacelone on www.IMDB.com

I was recently given a screener of this film, and after multiple attempts to watch it, I was finally able to finish it today. It is a wickedly cool movie with an interesting and fairly original story by an onslaught of writers including Marv Blauvelt, Pete Jacelone, Paul Quintero, and Trevor Wright. I felt like the story was definitely a strong point to this film and the story really drives the film.

Raine Brown serves up a above par performance as the questionably insane Ashley Steele, and it is always nice to see a girl as a psycho in film. Raine does have some acting mistakes but overall she did a really great job. There were some great supporting roles from Alan Rowe Kelly(talked about him alot lately), Susan Adriensen, and a great Asshole performance from Marv Blauvelt!

The concept of this film is really what makes some of the film's mistakes forgivable. While Raine had a strong performance, there were moments of severe overacting, and that made me cringe a bit a few times, but her stronger scenes are all when she is really calm. The first half of the film seemed a little off as far as pacing the film goes. The second half of the film picks up a lot and you forget about the bumpy start. The film is very sexual, VERY SEXUAL, and at times it adds to the story, but at other times seems to take away from it. I get it, there are lots of big muscular men around, and you will have that working with some of the guys from Muscle Wolf Productions, but at the same time it often felt distracting in the film. That was the least distracting part of the film. The special effects are what distracted me the most. Watching the film, I couldn't help but feel like it would have been a stronger film if they had used less Gore and more story/acting, and I am a HUGE fan of Gore. The special effects struck polar opposites at different points of the film. The cutting and stabbing with knives and other things looked really really good, but the molds and some of the other effects looked like poorly made Halloween costumes. Also, I don't think how hard it is to remove a persons limb was taken into affect either. I think it could have been more suspenseful having used less blood and guts and in result it could have added more questions as to the final result of her sculpture. At one point of the film I couldn't help but ask myself, "Where the hell did she get a Katana?!" but I let that slide for simple fact that I like swords, even if they are randomly added to a movie. Unfortunately, my love for swords was quickly replaces with shocking disappointment when I witnessed the beheading that followed. It was hands down the worst beheading I have ever seen on film. It almost ruined the movie for me, but it didn't.

I did like the film as a whole, and I think it is worth at least one viewing for everyone, but for some it should be owned on DVD just to show to your friends at a party, haha. I look forward to seeing more films by these guys, and especially more films by the writing crew.

Entertainment Value: 6/10 Katanas
Cinematic Value: 4/10 Katanas

Something Just

Something Just - Directed by Scott W. Perry

I just got to see a short film called Something Just, and it was simply amazing.

Here is the link to watch it, and I recommend everyone go see it.

http://vimeo.com/15300069


In order to stop a child killer, the guardian of one of his victims seeks the aid of a shady figure from his past. Starring Alan Rowe Kelly, Jerry Murdock, Evan Robert Smith, Joslyn Jensen, and Joseph Zaso. Written, Produced, and Directed by Scott W. Perry. Cinematographer and Editor Dominick Sivilli. Co-Producer Jeremiah Kipp. Original Score and Sound Mix Tom Burns. Shot in 1080p High Definition. Courtesy of Slick Devil Entertainment.

Alan Rowe Kelly is one of the most versitle actors out there and he one again shines in this role. The always amazing Jerry Murdock keeps the film on a ground level and acts as the glue that pieces this story together. Great low budget special effects, great acting, and a story that everyone can relate to make this a great must see short film.

Entertainment Value: 9/10 Bare Feet
Cinematic Value: 7/10 Bare Feet

Hypochondriac (2009) Screener

Hypochondriac (2009) Dir. by Peter Jacelone

In a story by Marv Blauvelt of Muscle Wolf Productions, and a script by Trevor Wright, we are given alien abduction,do-it-yourself surgeons,slutty nurses, and a large number of odd situations at a small clinic.



I personally know a few people involved in this project, and I knew what to expect going into it. These filmmakers love to go over the top, and have fun while filming a movie. They typically like to stay more serious in their movies, but Hypochondriac is pretty much all comedy, sprinkled with the a little bit of over-the-top gore. Over the top is the best way to explain it, and I don't mean it in a negative manner. If you go into Hypochondriac expecting Oscar winning performances, top notch special effects, and a dramatic story, then you will be let down. Not once during the film did I take it too seriously.

All the characters were very unique, and Alan Rowe Kelly steals the show as always. Not to take anything away from anyone else, but Alan always has the ability to play original and interesting characters, and this doesn't fall short of the standard he has set. He plays Charity Betencourt, an older woman who is obsessed with medically fixing herself at home, and then bringing herself in to check the results with a local clinic. She is always doing the most drastic thing possible, and the new Dr. Combs reaction to it is hilarious. Dr. Oliver Combs, played by Marv Blauvelt, is a doctor who has just transferred from the big city to the middle of nowhere to take over for a Doctor who is leaving. His character is a germ freak, and his reactions to all the disgusting things that happen are hilarious. Zoe Daelman Chlanda is beautifully amazing as always in her uptight Priscilla Grace character.



All in all the film was very entertaining, and I look forward to seeing the rest of the Psycho Street anthology it is being released in. If I had to pick one thing that I didn't like about the movie, I would have to say I didn't feel any sort of depth or creativity with the slutty Nurse Amber Love Joy. It was nothing against the way Raine Brown portrayed the character but she was a slutty nurse, and that was the extent of it. It felt like she was there for filler. It didn't take anything away from the film fortunately. I will return to this film many times, as it was very entertaining, and I look forward to getting more from these amazing filmmakers.

Entertainment Value: 7/10 Alien Babies
Cinematic Value: 5/10 Alien Babies

www.picturenose.com

I was recently approached by one of the great writers over at www.picturenose.com about my review on Bubba Ho-tep. If you want to read that review I posted a link on my original story. While I disagree extremely about Phantasm not being of CULT CLASSIC status, the review of Bubba Ho-tep is extremely good. It got me looking at the rest of the reviews these guys were pumping out and I found a very interesting movie review site in the process. I just wanted to give them some props and tell people to go check out their intersting movie reviews over at www.picturenose.com . I hope you enjoy their reviews as much as I have.

My Top 50 Stephen King Movies in order of how I like them! (Companion piece to recent post)

Since we all voted and did the Top 5 Stephen King movies according to you the readers/movie watchers. I decided to write down the Stephen King movies I have seen in the order I like them. I probably missed a couple, but it is very unlikely. Tell me what you think.

#1- The Mist
#2- Shawshank Redemption
#3- Cujo
#4- It
#5- The Stand
#6- Needful Things
#7- Riding The Bullet
#8- Stand By Me
#9- Tommyknockers
#10- Misery
#11- Pet Sematary
#12- Maximum Overdrive
#13- Children of the Corn
#14- Christine
#15- The Shining
#16- Carrie
#17- The Night Flier
#18- Salem's Lot
#19- Creepshow
#20- The Dead Zone
#21- Firestarter
#22- Silver Bullet
#23- The Running Man
#24- Graveyard Shift
#25- The Dark Half
#26- Dolores Claiborne
#27- Sometimes They Come Back
#28- The Green Mile
#29- Sleepwalkers
#30- Thinner
#31- Apt Pupil
#32- Storm of the Century
#33- Nightmares and Dreamscapes
#34- Dreamcatcher
#35- Desperation
#36- 1408
#37- Secret Window
#38- Rose Red
#39- Hearts in Atlantis
#40- The Mangler
#41- Cat's Eye
#42- Golden years
#43- Trucks
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#50- The Langoliers


Ok, so I left some room for all the other movies from King coming out that will all be better than The Langoliers. That movie was horrible, and by far the worst adaption from a great Stephen King story! Let the comments begin! :-)

The Votes are in!!! Top 5 Stephen King movies based on You!

So the votes are in, and the results were not too terribly shocking. It was in a little different order than I expected, but I could have called the top five before the vote was taken. Stephen King is a legend in my book, and will always be a hero to me. His books will forever line my shelves, and I pray the man writes until bites the big one. I mean that in the most respectable way possible. I DON'T want the man to stop writing. Just when you think he is probably going to start fading as a writer, he tosses out something incredible like "Cell" or "Under the Dome". The man is on the track to go out as probably the most popular Author of all time. Although I couldn't find actual facts to support it, it seems he has more book to movie deals than any other other I know of. Almost everything he has ever written has either been optioned, started filming, or has already graced DVDs, the big screen, or the little screen.

I could have done a top 5 movies based on sales, or IMDB rating, but I really wanted to hear what my closest friends, family, and fellow bloggers had to say when it came time to cast their vote. So to start this thing off, here are a few quotes from the vote:

The Mike of From Midnight, With Love said, "I can't not pick Shawshank. Shining and Mist are close, but to me it has to be the tale of Andy Dufresne."

Cory from Slaughter Film replied, "THE NIGHT FLIER! It's a modern twist on the classic vampire tale and WAY better than any of the vampire crap that has come out in the past ten years. Also I love how the main character works for some trashy "Weekly World News" magazine. *Sigh* I miss the 90's..."

The Scream Queen said, "This one is tough, but I'd probably have to say The Stand. That likely won't be the popular vote, but I love that movie. I did a five-part review on it when I was home sick from work earlier this year."

I also wanted to touch on the ones that didn't make the top 5 but came damn close. Here are the ones that were just a vote or two away from making the top 5!

Shawshank Redemption
The Night Flier
Misery
Christine
Children of the Corn
Stand by Me
Sometimes They Come Back
and Pet Sematary was named more times for people's second choice than any other film.

All great movies, but they just didn't quite get enough votes. I could go through all the movies that got at least one vote, but that would be a long, long list. So without further wait, I give you the Top 5 Stephen King movies You as readers/viewers voted on:



#5 The Stand Dir. by Mick Garris

The Stand is still considered one of the top made for TV movies of all time, and it is well deserved! The plot goes as follows: (After the world is decimated by a man-made plague, a battle of literally Biblical proportions ensues between the survivors.) The religious tones of the film only add to the overall effect of the material. I'm really glad that other people agree with me that this deserves to be in the Top 5.



#4 The Mist Dir. by Frank Darabont

I have said it before, and I will say it again- Frank Darabont is the only person that should ever be allowed to direct a Stephen King movie. In my mind, he is 3 for three, having also directed The Green Mile and Shawshank Redemption. It just feels like he knows King from the inside out. He even rewrote his own ending for The Mist, and Stephen King approved of it, saying "The ending is such a jolt—wham! It's frightening." The film follows a group of towns people trapped in a grocery store after a thick mist falls over the town, and seems to be filled with dangerous creatures. This was also my vote for #1, even though it didn't make it.



#3 Carrie Dir. by Brian De Palma

Carrie is undoubtedly one of the most memorable Stephen King movies to ever land on the big screen. Sissy Spacek helped drive up the box office numbers with her spot-on portrayal of the psionic powered teen. Although De Palma hasn't made a good movie since 1996, he used to be quite the filmmaker back in the day, and his take on Stephen King's work is honorable, and respectful of King's material. Carrie is well deserving of being on the Top 5



#2 It Dir. by Tommy Lee Wallace

I always have a hard time supporting anything Tommy Lee Wallace directs because he gave us the worst Halloween movie of all time. Halloween III: Season of the Witch, but on the other hand, he also gave us Fright Night 2, which is an admirable film. Either way, he gave us It! It is hard to find anything bad about it. I feel that if I were to say something bad about it, a clown might show up in my room in the middle of the night and eat me. As if people weren't terrified of clowns to begin with, It is almost single handedly responsible for thousands of clowns losing their jobs in the early 90's. I have a friend named Ryan, who might actually start convulsing like an epileptic upon seeing Pennywise. Tim Curry really helps develop this fear by whole-heartedly throwing himself into a what others might say is a typically goofy role, and giving it a touch of seriousness that terrifies me more than the character did to begin with. He plays Pennywise so perfect that I don't think there is anyone else on the face of the planet that can play the part even half as good as Curry did. That also makes me wonder why they have decided to remake it for next year. Oh well, Wallace's It will is always be near the top of any list made about Stephen King's movies.



#1!!!!!!! (drum roll please) The Shining! Dir. by Stanley Kubrick

I saw this coming ahead of time, but I find it hilariously ironic that the film we vote as the #1 Stephen King film was described by King himself as the worst adaption of any of his works. Of course, this quote was taken long before The Langoliers was made, which gets my vote for worst adaption. There is no doubt the Kubrick made one hell of a film with The Shining, and it is deserving to be on the top of any horror film list. It is absolutely one of the best films ever made, ranking #49 on IMDBs Top 250, and it is definitely one of the best movies best on works of Stephen King, so it is well deserving of it #1 ranking. Great job folks, and thanks for all the people that participated! I also wanted to let people know I used my favorite posters for each movie on here as well. I especially love The Shining poster!



Let me know your finale thoughts on the Top 5, and let me know if you have any ideas for a future Top 5!

Why do we keep giving Uwe Boll money?

Everyone who knows me well, or even just slightly, knows my hatred for Uwe Boll. The man has been putting out garbage for the better part of the last two decades. He is undoubtedly in my mind, the worst director I have ever seen on the big screen, and I mean that in all sincerity. I used to have issues with Eli Roth until Boll made Roth looks Oscar worthy. Here are the rating's for Uwe Boll's movies on IMDB:

German Fried Movie : IMDB – 1.3/10
Barschel: A Murder In Geneva: IMDB – 2.1/10
Amoklauf: IMDB – 2.1/10
The First Semester: IMDB – 2.1/10
Sanctimony (TV): IMDB – 2.9/10
Blackwoods: IMDB – 2.5/10
Heart of America: IMDB – 4.1/10
House of the Dead: IMDB – 2.0/10
Alone In The Dark: IMDB – 2.3/10
BloodRayne: IMDB – 2.7/10
In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale: IMDB – 3.8/10
Seed: IMDB – 2.6/10
Postal: IMDB – 4.1/10
BloodRayne: Deliverance: IMDB – 2.5/10
1968 Tunnel Rats: IMDB – 4.5/10
Stoic: IMDB – 2.8/10




Clearly other people agree that Uwe Boll's movies are shit worthless. I didn't use his last 4 movies because they haven't had a chance to gain very many votes yet. With this amazing list of films that give me suicidal tendencies, Uwe Boll has managed to make the worst of the worst. He even had the pleasure of having two movies in the IMDB's Bottom 100 with House of the Dead and Alone in the Dark. Two movies that very much deserve to be on that list. House of the Dead is one of those movies I bought on DVD as a spontaneous buy, and thus my hatred was born. He manages to get Video Game adaptions like free suckers at the doctor's office, and he manages to demolish them relentlessly. Rottentomatoes.com barely recognizes him as a director at all, only acknowledging a few of his movies even exist, and giving his movies an average of 1-11%.



The man shows no respect for anyone else in the movie making business, no respect to critics, and no respect for the people who watch his movies. He has said he makes movies to make a paycheck and that is why he makes 3-4 bad movies a year to bring in the paychecks, and people keep giving him money. He uses this money to get really good actors to take part in his films, and it in return makes me even more angry. People have tried to stand up against this monster, but have had no luck. He even knocked out a few nerds for fun, because he said if someone could beat him in a fight, he would stop making movies. Someone should knock his fucking ass out! Why can't we find some golden glove boxer here in the states to put him in his place? I'm trying to encourage people to stop watching his movies, or at least stop paying for them. It just encourages him. The man is a worthless piece of shit making worthless movies, and if we keep giving him money to do these things, then it will never stop. There should be a boycott on all Uwe Boll movies! Who is with me?! From here on out, I will never review a Uwe Boll movie on my blog!

What is your favorite Stephen King movie?

Stephen King has been my inspiration for almost everything in my life. When times got tough as a kid, I resorted to burying myself in a fictional world created by Stephen King. He is probably single-handedly responsible for helping me become this creatively deranged individual I am today. He is one of the best selling authors of all time, if not THE best. He has had more movie adaptions from his works than anyone else in the history of film. While some of his adaptions often come up weak and short, others shine as masterpieces. He is known as being the King of Horror, but he has seen big success with non-horror as well with Stand by Me, The Green Mile, and Shawshank redemption.



I'm calling out to my fellow bloggers, and readers to find out what everyone else's favorite Stephen King film is of all time. I'm going to compile a list at the end of the week and then have a Top 10 Stephen King films list by bloggers and movie fans everywhere. I am really excited for this article, as he is an important part of my life. I am also asking this on my facebook, so please try to only cast your vote once on one or the other to keep it as accurate as possible. Thank you to all, and I can't wait to see the results!

Hatchet (2006)

Hatchet (2006) Dir. by Adam Green

When a group of tourists on a New Orleans haunted swamp tour find themselves stranded in the wilderness, their evening of fun and spooks turns into a horrific nightmare.



I LOVE Hatchet, and I look forward to Adam Green doing many many great movies! It sucks that I haven't been able to get a hold of more of his stuff. I know that Hatchet and Spiral are two of my favorite movies in the last five years. While Spiral was a well though out psychological thriller, Hatchet is anything but that. Green shows his love for cheesy, over the top, bloody, gutsy, and breast filled slasher horror films of the 80's... by making one from 2006. I loved every minute of it. It had the jumps that got my heart pumping, and sustained it by showing enough action to rarely slow it down. He doesn't get drawn out and boring at any point in the film, and I was fine with giving up boring story points for a short action packed film. The blood was laughable, and the acting was mediocre, but at no point in the film did I feel like Green was trying to do anything more than that. He just wanted to make the fun horror slasher he wanted to make.



It is always great to see the under appreciated Joel David Moore, and best friend of the director, although I was a little annoyed by him in the beginning. He got much better as the movie went on. I love how Adam Green wanted as many people as possible to know that Kane Hodder was going to be playing Victor Crowley (the killer). It not only brought in many more people to see the film, but told people right from the start that it was going to be vicious. Hodder is the kind of guy that instills fear in people he walks by on the way to get groceries for the week. He has brought viewers so many great characters through his career. He is a veteran, and it only makes sense that he plays the new "big" horror legend, when he did his part to help us keep one of the best (Jason Vorhees) alive. The rest of the cast is filled up with lesser known people doing above par jobs for people of their experience. Tamara Feldman is definitely a pleasant surprise as the female lead, and I think she hits her character dead on. I was definitely upset to hear she refused to reprise her role in the sequel being released Aug 26th across seas. Deon Richmond (The Cosby Show) offers up some clever humor as the main source comedic relief, not to mention cameos from more horror legends Robert Englund and Tony Todd (who is frickin hilarious). Make sure you keep an eye out for the young Victor Crowley, who is played by Rileah Vanderbilt, and she would later marry Adam Green a few months ago. Congrats to both of them.



When it comes down to it, the special FX are what makes me fall in love with this film. In a time like today, CGI can always be a way to make stuff look OK, and make it for cheep, and much less of a mess. Hatchet doesn't fall prey to the easy way out. They keep it bloody and traditional by using buckets of blood, and old school special FX. I really hope more feels start to move back to this traditional, and respectable manner of making movies. It reminds me of times when I felt it required someone special to make it in the film business. It inspired me to work in film, and to want to aspire to be something more than just normal. I'm not trying to think into it that much, but nowadays anyone can make a crappy movie look a little bit better using CGI programs. I'm not trying to say that people who use alot of CGI aren't talented, I'm just saying they are less talented. :-)

I honestly look forward to seeing every single film Adam Green makes, and I expect only bigger things for him to come in the future. He has certainly made his mark among the horror community. I can tell you that.

Entertainment Value: 9/10 Double-sided Axes
Cinematic Value: 8/10 Double-sided Axes